The New Regime

I woke up last Tuesday (so it's been a week now) with a monstrous tumor-like zit on my forehead. Yes, seriously. I really thought that once I entered my twenties the dreaded unsightly break-outs would cease. I'm not sure if it's this humid, miserable weather, the crappy eating habits I've developed lately, stress, or a combination of all of these things. That being said. I'm starting a new plan of attack. Or maybe it will be better called a new regime. Tyrannical style.  

I went home from work yesterday and went crazy with the scissors. I'm now rockin' some blunt bangs. haha Keep in mind, I'm NO hairstylist. This was huge and drastic for me. I don't like extra attention so I tend to try to downplay everything and make no obvious changes to my appearance. Well, it was either notice the cyclops eye growing out of my forehead, or notice some new bangs. My hair grows very quickly anyway, so in 2 weeks I'll have some side swept bangs if I so choose.

Downfall? I look like I'm 12 and a half. But I thought, "what the hell?!?!", because I've already hit all my "exciting" milestone birthdays, so what if people think I'm younger than I actually am? A lot of women would be ecstatic to hear they look younger than they are! And anyway, I think they are kind of sassy... plus, I don't have a forehead.. I have a FIVEhead... seriously, that thing is huge, and now it is camouflaged. And I have killer blue eyes, and now focus is drawn there. I can handle attention on my eyes I think. But this is going to take a lot of getting used to.

Conversation I had with Eric when he got home from work:

Me: "So... what do you think"
Eric: "I'm just going to have to get used to them.. but they don't look bad."
Me: "Don't look 'bad'? I don't want to 'not look bad '"
Eric: "It looks cute, I'm just not used to it yet"
Me: "It's not like I haven't had bangs before, you just didn't know me then... I had them when I was like12..."
Eric: "Yeah, well don't most 12 year olds?"


Touché.

Second on my list- eat better and work out. I used to be a fitness FREAK. I mean, I was in shape, worked out daily, ran like a crazy person, and ate very healthily. I do have to say, at this same point in time I was consuming inordinate amounts of alcohol, not sleeping nearly as much as I should have been, and was pretty depressed. But I looked good... fit. It feels wonderful to be fit. I've been dealing with some problems with hypoglycemia, anemia, and low B12 levels recently. And OMG, it SUCKS. It's horrible to be a very active person and have zero energy to do anything. All I want to do is lay on the couch and sleep. BOO. But I'm going to force myself. FORCE myself. I loathe running. But I will run. Till I can't run anymore. I will use my stability ball and hand weights. And I will do my Pilates (which I love). And I will stop pigging out on JUNK. and that's FINAL. I'm not out to lose much weight, maybe 4-6 pounds, but toning up would be wonderful.

Thirdly, and possibly most importantly, I will be drama-free. I will disassociate myself with stressful people and situations and I will work hard to ensure that I am heading down an emotionally healthy path. I've said before that I'm trying to get some things worked through and anxiety is an issue, so my psychiatrist will assist with this goal. First appointment is tomorrow. Eek. We'll see.

And I'm going to start actually using my tanning package. I know, it's bad for you. I know, it causes cancer and premature aging. But I honestly have higher self-esteem when I'm tan. And it keeps my skin clear. And it makes you look thinner. And maybe it's all in my head, but I just feel better.

I am taking my health, both mental and physical, into my own hands. I'm working to become who I want to be.

Any suggestions? Feel free to divulge!

Lazzzzzzy weekend

Today, I'm really excited. I have my very first follower. LOL. But seriously, I'm much more excited than I anticipated :) :)

So let's see, what happened this weekend. Oh, that's right, a big fat sack of nothing. I do have to say though, that nothing, I repeat, NOTHING comes close to even comparing to the feeling of a completely clean home. I'm a bit of a clean freak. Sure, I like things to be neat, but clean is much more important to me than neat. And my boyfriend knows this.

Before I get home, If Eric is there, he does his ritualistic "tidying up", which basically translates into: "I'm going to pick up some crap from one area of the house and move it to another, more discrete area of the house, but nothing is truly getting placed where it belongs."

Ok, maybe I'm a little harsh, but I blame my mother. Is it really my fault that I'm a perfectionist when it comes to cleaning? Is it really my fault that I like things to be done MY way, and if they aren't, well then they just aren't right? Eric tries to use the excuse that he "would've" done something but he wasn't sure it would have been up to "my standards", and my common reaction is, "oh, you mean actually CLEAN?!?" I mean, is it really that difficult?

Ok, so I know I'm some sort of control freak and I've really been trying to work on it, but when Eric so considerately does the dishes for me (which I truly do appreciate) and I reach in the cabinet and pull out a drinking glass that still has greasy finger prints on the outside of it, I get really really irritated...SICK. Honestly, what is the sense in doing something if you're only going to do it half-assed? That's definitely NOT how I roll.

I love the idea of being a stay-at-home mom, but not because I'm lazy, lack an education, or don't want to contribute financially. I would love to be able to take care of my kids, husband, and home. I would love to be able to have a clean house and dinner ready every night for my lover man. I would love to be there every day when my kids got out of school. But, unfortunately, in the world we live in today, this is rarely possible, and I don't see it as being possible for my life. But that's ok too. As long as everyone is healthy and happy and well-adjusted, that is all that really matters at the end of the day.

So anyway, we spent Friday running errands, Saturday cleaning house, and the ENTIRE day Sunday cuddled up on the couch, watching movies on our glorious flat screen, playing card games, and pigging out.

cherry turnovers, cheesy scrambled eggs, and bacon for brunch (we slept in)
boneless bbq ribs, mac n cheese, and green beans for an early dinner
white chocolate fondue with graham crackers, strawberries, and apples for dessert

...hoping it's going to be a good Monday and a good start to the week!

White Chocolate Fondue for Two

White Chocolate Fondue for Two


I toyed with a couple recipes that I found online and this combination worked best for me! It only took about 10 min. total, and it was delicious. We absolutely LOVED this and look forward to doing it again!


Ingredients:

• 1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
• 1/2 a bag (6 oz) white chocolate chips
• 1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
• dippers*

Directions:

In a small sauce pan, heat 1/4 cup heavy whipping cream at medium-low heat, stirring constantly, till simmering. Add 1/2 bag, or 6 oz white chocolate chips, and 1 tsp pure vanilla extract, and stir till almost completely melted. Remove from heat and continue to stir until consistency is smooth. Pour into fondue pot and serve.

Dippers:

My personal favorites for white chocolate fondue would be

• beer pretzels
• strawberries
• graham crackers
• granny smith apples

But there are so many different things you could try out, like

• bananas
• pound cake
• marshmallows
• ??

Have you tried something with your white chocolate fondue that you absolutely loved? Let me know! I love new ideas!

The Kitchen Chronicles

I love to cook. But, unfortunately, most often I am either crunched for time or exhausted, so I'm kind of...  well... lazy. The fact that Eric is one of the pickiest eaters I know doesn't help much at all. Seriously, it's like trying to cook for an obstinate child a majority of the time. Not only does he not like a TON of different foods, but he actually will refuse to eat something even if it contains something he doesn't like as a minor ingredient. Some examples...

• cottage cheese
• sour cream
• yogurt
• ANY seafood
• ANY veggies excluding corn, green beans, tomatoes, and lettuce
• cream cheese
• cream of mushroom soup
• plums
• apricots 
• beans
• anything spicy

Anyway, I use recipes from family tradition, friends, magazines, websites, soup cans (so basically whatever I can get my grubby little hands on) and also those I come up with on my own. I hope you enjoy my little work in progress!


White Chocolate Fondue for Two

Hot New Bikini & "Just a Guy"

On-line shopping will be the death of me. Ok, so I used to have a severe shopping problem. I just love to shop. I love to have new things. I love fashion. I love shopping for what suits my particular body type, and I'm pretty good at it (at least I think I am). I love feeling like I'm in control of something.. even if my shopping is out of control. I mean, really, what girl doesn't like these things?

So anyway, Eric and I share our finances, which works out pretty well; we do our best to ensure if things don't work out between us, we'll still survive financially, and considering we've made a commitment to each other not to give up, no matter what obstacles we face, it's been working out well, so what's the harm? Anyway, before I get way off track, since we began sharing our funds, I've worked very hard to be frugal and cognizant of where every penny of our income goes, and also to make sure we both get the things we want and need. This has taken quite a bit of communication, consideration, compromising, and sacrificing, which is a constant work in progress. I handle all the bills, the shopping, the saving, the little "extras" we want to do, the vacation planning, etc.

Sometimes handling the money makes me feel like a good-time nazi. Sometimes it really sucks telling Eric, "no we don't have the money for that because we are trying to save money for this," and so forth. And sometimes, he has a little "tantrum" and figuratively stomps his feet and holds his breath, but most of the time, even if he doesn't like it, he understands we are working toward a common goal that we decided together. It's not like I always get things I want, I just don't voice that I want them, so they go unnoticed by him.

But anyway, today I got something I wanted. Well kind of. I'm more than willing to settle. I am more than happy to shop from the sales racks. Which is exactly what I did today.

Victoria's Secret! 

I just love VS. 

I got the top on sale for $24 

and the bottoms for $14.50.
Now that's a decent deal!

So this is an older design- a year, maybe two, but I like it, and these colors are on my color wheel. It would be really nice if I was as hott as the girl wearing it, but that's never going to happen. For starters, I'm only 5'2".. in the morning. 

FYI: Did you know you're taller in the morning? Gravity from standing and sitting compresses the spine, thus, making you shorter as the day wears on.  

On a completely unrelated subject, I'm starting a new book today. It's called Just a Guy -Notes from a Blue Collar Life. It's a memoir by Bill Engvall (You know, the guy from Blue Collar Comedy that's not Jeff Foxworthy or the "Tator Salad" guy or the guy that always wears red flannels with the sleeves ripped off that talks really slow and twangy.) 

I got it for Eric for Christmas last year.. it was something he had mentioned hearing about and wanting to read, but couldn't remember who wrote it or what it was called. So, without much to go on, I searched and searched and finally found it. I guess I should go ahead and mention he's only read about the first 10 pages. Anyway, I though what the hell, I'm going to read it. I'm hoping it's funny. 

The back cover's first paragraph is:

Here's the official definition of a guy: a person who doesn't think before he speaks. He's can't. He's not that deep. Because a guy has only three basic needs: eating, sleeping, and sex. That's it. Just a Guy chronicles a lifetime in pursuit of those needs.  

Have a wonderful Friday!

Photography

I am by no means a professional. I have never even taken a photography class, it's just something that I enjoy. I like to find beauty in unexpected places. I like to play with different effects and try to evoke certain emotions. I like to remember every detail of how I felt when I took a particular photograph.

:: Bookshelf ::

My Bookshelf is a place for all my current favorites. I love me a good book. Most of these are contemporary adult literature with a couple of young adult and memoirs thrown in. If you have the time to read any of these, please share what you thought!

The Twilight Saga

-Stephenie Meyer

It's a given, they are the ever-popular Twilight books... but I love the fantasy about them.  

Can You Keep a Secret?

-Sophie Kinsella

This book I absolutely could not put down, and read a second time right after I finished the first. It was hysterical and witty and candid- all the things I love!

Suzanne's Diary For Nicholas

-James Patterson

Tear-jerker for sure, but very well-written and developed, with an element of surprise. Great book.

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

-Tucker Max

I started reading this in class and immediately stopped because I was laughing so hard I literally could've pissed myself. Literally. And then I got excited when the movie was coming out.. until I saw the movie and was highly disappointed. This is the most hilarious, raunchiest yet intelligently written book I've read. 

Milkrun

-Sarah Mlynowski

I think at one point or another we've all been that girl that just can't let go, even when all indicators are screaming we should. I could definitely relate.

Remember Me?

-Sophie Kinsella

Somewhat predictable, but overall, it was a very good read. Kept me interested. But then again, I'm never disappointed with Sophie Kinsella.

A Girl Named Zippy

-Haven Kimmel

I was given this as a high school graduation gift from my creative writing teacher/great aunt, because this is one of her favorite books, and I remind her of Zippy. "Spunky" was the adjective she used. 

Secret Life of Bees

-Sue Monk Kidd

Just an absolutely wonderful book. I could really identify with May and her feelings of overwhelming empathy and sensitivity. I learned a lot about myself and self-expression from this book.

The Lovely Bones

-Alice Sebold

A new perspective, a different viewpoint from what I was used to, I was very intrigued by the story line. 

The Ex-Files

-Jane Moore

The opening scene of this book is so steamy you can't help but read on!