May 12, 2010

My best friend is moving.

My best friend's grandma surprised her after our high school graduation by telling her when she graduated college she would take her on a two week adventure to Egypt. Yes, I said Egypt. And I would like to just clarify, Brit's* grandma is about the coolest grandma you'd ever meet. Driven, fun, energetic, hip, hard-working, morally intact, supportive, funny, etc. etc. Well anyway, I went to Brit's when I got off work yesterday, to say goodbye.  Ok, I think we probably need a bit of a background story...

Brit and I have been best friends since high school. I practically lived at her house a good majority of the time, while other times, I literally did. This girl shared everything with me from her bed, to her tampons, to her parents; she is quite literally what I would call the absolute best friend someone could hope for. When I was too depressed to get out of bed, she would drag me; when I didn't have a car, she would drive me; when I felt completely lost, time after time, she would find me. Our relationship has consisted a lot of me needing her and her coming through. She's always been the strong one, and I the emotionally weak. I have never been the good friend that she's deserved, not because I haven't wanted to be, but because I've just never known how.

So here we are, and now she's moving. She was dating this guy who seemed absolutely perfect... and then she got pregnant. I will leave out the details because they really aren't mine to tell, but let's just say he is a complete piece of shit. I mean a huge festering pile of shit, and she in no way deserves what he's done to her. Now she's scared and alone, pregnant, and heartbroken. Her sister and her husband convinced her to move in with them. While I'm happy for Brit and I know this is in her and her baby's best interest, I am selfishly sad. I don't want her to go. I'm just know figuring out how to be a good friend and a better person, and she's leaving. I know this isn't the end of our friendship and I know I will see her as often as I make happen, but the comfort of her living 10 minutes away is gone. She'll now be about an hour and a half from me. Who else will I make tuna casserole with? Who will put packets of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows on their ice cream with me? Who will look at me & know what I'm thinking before I say a word? Who will I get completely sloppy drunk with and feel absolutely no shame?

It's hard to lose your best friend, especially with the guilty weight of knowing that I was not the best friend that she deserved. No matter what it takes, I will make sure that this distance doesn't ruin us. I will fix the friendship she has tried so hard for in the past, that I have let fall to the wayside time and time again. For myself, and for Brit, I will be who she deserves. I love the girl like she is an actual appendage, and I will make sure I don't let us down.

By the way, Brit found out yesterday that she's going to be having a baby GIRL! I am so excited for my niece and I know she is going to be smart and beautiful and caring just like her mommy!

Brit & I being silly

*Some real names won't be used, well, because I don't think they should be.  


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